McLovin Gettin' No Lovin

My two readers have been asking where the updates have been. Honestly, there hasn't been enough fuel feeding the fire. I'll still go head and jot something down though.

So I really like to visualize in my head what's going on whenever I hear a story. Now I will grant myself that wish. Let me go ahead and introduce the cast of the story...

Here's McLovin. Again, a good lookin' fella with a sense of style. But what the fuck is up with the hair and bushy eyebrows?


Next, we have Mable. She's a looker isn't she? Yeahhh she is...


Okay, I won't be mean. Here's Mable. I would be mean and say the above is her, but I don't want to hear McLovin whine more than he is already. Just kidding, take a joke McLovin.


What would a story be without some friends. So here's jdm and a buddy of ours who I'll call 'Shits a Lot'.


And how could anything be possible without yours truly...me. Helllrowwww!!!


So we left off last with McLovin not getting some. Guess what? He still ain't gettin none. Is it his fault that he's not getting any? Sure. Is there possibly something wrong with her that's preventing her from putting out? Yes. No one can really be to blame, but I do know that behaviors can change to induce heightened sexual stimulation. How you may ask? Here's how...

One day I was practicing on my piano and McLovin's situation popped in my head. I thought to myself: "There's something lacking in that relationship. There's no passion, no stimulation, how can I help?"


From there I devised a brilliant plan of attack, and if executed precisely, McLovin will finally feel the release.


I wanted my plan executed in stages. Stage 1: Assemble my crew. I would go to the local bar to search for buddy 'Shits a Lot'.


I would finally got a hold of him after reciting "Mohammad Jihad" a million times. Since he doesn't like to be surprised I don't think he would be too happy when I found him.


But after describing my plan he would be all for it. At this time I would already have buddy jdm working undercover for me.


Stage 2: Execution. This is when I strike!! 'Shits a Lot's' role will be to kidnap Mable's father. Once I got a hold of him I would feed him to my pet shark.


Remember how I had jdm undercover? Well by now he would have become best friends with Mable's brother. From there he would lure her brother to a helicopter tour of the city and fucking toss his ass out. Ahhhh!!!


That leaves just Mable's mother. My plan is to send her to a free trip to Paris one week prior to these events. Then I would raise hell on Paris so that she is stranded without food and water, left with the only option of licking the chocolate off the kid's lips for any sort of nutrients.


With the obstacles out the way I would simply wait until Mable gets off work and lure her to my palace. Then when she leasts expects it I tie her up on a chair and gaze at her for hours like a pervert.

Of course McLovin would be in on this plot and ready to make his grand entrance. As always, before he sees Mable he pretends to work out to get the blood following in his biceps to give the illusion of big muscles (something he actually does by the way).


From there he would walk in my palace, "take out" my guards (who would all be playing dead when he got there), and go up stairs and rescue Mable. I guess I would act like I'm taking a shit or something, so I didn't know McLovin was here saving the day.

As they are leaving I would then come out of the bathroom and look angry like McLovin had just made a fool of me.

By then the adrenaline should be pumping in their hearts, something they've never felt before. Stimulation would finally be at its peak and all McLovin has to do is make the first move...


Then we all know who's going to come in and ruin the moment...